


Irremissible Destiny

by IxN0VA



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Crowley and Aziraphale are dating tho, M/M, because obviously, fallen but not fallen?, fallen with a twist?, its just not stated because its already and established relationship of course
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:01:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25525594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IxN0VA/pseuds/IxN0VA
Summary: What were to happen if part of the ineffable plan was for head office to find out about the fact Crowley and Aziraphale switched places for their trails? What if they instead decided to punish them again, but more fittingly this time? Everything comes down to the ineffable plan, and no one never really knows what that plan is. Perhaps this is a punishment to be stripped of one's wings, or maybe it's just ineffable. Aziraphale and Crowley face a new challenge in the world they hold so dear. Maybe living among the locals was just a bit harder than it seemed. What's one to do when they lack the abilities of divine intervention? This is their Irremissible Destiny.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Kudos: 3





	Irremissible Destiny

**Author's Note:**

> Just re watched Good Omens. I'm late to the train, am new to the fandom and so I don't know the characters all that well inside and out so this was a first time attempt but I just had this idea that I wanted to get down on paper.
> 
> I don't know if this will continue as an actual fiction, but I'll leave it open ended if I decide upon it.
> 
> Yes I've read the book.
> 
> Sorry for any typos.

It was a Sunday. Don't let the name fool you, in fact today wasn't a particularly nice day. The sky was cloudy and it was cold enough to need a proper jacket. London had seen better days, but of course, this kind of weather wasn't unusual either. It just wasn't anything to celebrate. No plans to be made to spend the day with the family at the park. Perhaps it was even threatening to rain later on in the day, or maybe the wind could shift just enough, that the tiniest glimpse of the sun would peak out at the times when people wouldn't even be looking to notice it. Other than that one could say that today, was just as ordinary as any other day.

Just as ordinary as any other day, only if you were mortal, that was. There were two men in London just finishing up with a late lunch who couldn't be more thankful for Sunday. Sunday was a wonderful day to each of them, there wasn't a better day to be had. The weather to them could be considered perfect. Sure, it could turn at a moments notice but what was a bit of rain water among good friends? It's not like they'd expect to end up completely soaked today, the probability of that happening was highly unlikely. Especially not on a Sunday, nothing bad could ever, possibly happen to them on a Sunday. Sunday was their favourite day, for it was the first day of which the rest of their lives began.

And perhaps, sometime in the far future, Sunday would also be the last day, of which their rest of their lives would end.

“That was perhaps one of the better lunches I've ever had.”

“Yeah well, they burnt your starter course, but given the circumstances I'd say the rest of it turned out well.”

“...If you've done what I am assuming you've done, I do hope you've remembered to return them to normal and leave a hefty tip.”

“Yea- Right. About that, uh. Lovely weather, huh?”

A Demon and an Angel, a most unlikely duo are found leaving a quaint restaurant off the far corner of main street. The tall and brooding one who held the door open upon exit was known as Crowley. The slightly shorter, polite gentleman that thanked him before stepping ahead of him to leave was known as Aziraphale.

Crowley snapped his fingers while Aziraphale glanced upwards to question the overcast sky, and suddenly the waiters and staff at the restaurant they just left had worked the best shift of their lives and found themselves with a worthy tip. “Right. So, you enjoyed lunch?”

Aziraphale glanced over his shoulder back at the restaurant before he smirked, turning back to Crowley. “Yes, thank you.”

“'Course.” Crowley nodded and extended his hand forward to gesture in a direction down the street for which they could start walking.

“Also, weather's a tad off, don't you think? Could be better.”

“What? No, the weathers lovely.”

“For you maybe.”

“Oh please, it's just a bit grey. But it's not too warm! Or too cold, just right if you're dressed properly.”

“Yes, but what about the rain?”

“It's not going to rain.”

“But-”

“ _It's not going to rain_.” Crowley stopped for a moment, standing in front of Aziraphale, making sure he heard what he had said, or would he have to repeat himself for a third time. “Fancy a bit of dessert?”

Aziraphale raised a brow at Crowley, almost knowingly, before smiling and walking past him again. “Oh, how you tempt me, Crowley.”

“It's what I do.” Crowley chuckled.

“Is the parlour open on Sundays?”

“It can be.” Crowley suggested.

“Oh, but I feel terrible having them work on their day off.” Aziraphale replied, frowning slightly at the thought. “It's just not right to force them to do that because I'm craving some vanilla whip.”

“You have any better suggestions?” Crowley questioned.

“Actually yes- I tried a new recipe from the many cookbooks I own, and I've discovered quite the fitting recipe-”

“Do I dare inquire what it is?”

Aziraphale chuckled to himself before speaking. “Angle cakes.”

“Oh dear lo-” Crowley cut himself off, rolling his eyes.

“Oh! And they have another delightful dish I'd love to try as well.” Aziraphale continued. “A chocolate cake called 'Devils Food' cake. Funny, isn't it?”

Crowley inhaled sharply through his nose as he grinned, it wasn't exactly a laugh but he did find it amusing. “Wonder where the mortals come up with things like that?”

“Beats me,” Aziraphale shrugged. “But I do find it ironically fitting in a way.” He clasped his hands together, picking up the pace and leading Crowley down a different street. “You have to try them! We are stopping by the shop right now, I'll whip some up for you.”

“Sure, and then you can boil the kettle and we'd have a spot of tea and discuss the evening news.” Crowley replied, willingly following the aspiring baker.

“When have we ever-”

“It's a joke, Angel,” Crowley sighed, shaking his head as the reaction didn't surprise him. “I'd love to try some.”

“Oh! Right, haha.”

Remember when we talked about how sometimes the sun would show up today, at the most inopportune times when people couldn't truly appreciate it? Well, funny enough something that seemed exactly like this started to take place, except someone was witnessed to it. Two of them, in fact. As the pair walked a gap cleared in the sky above, allowing the slightest bit of sun to come through, shining down on to them. It almost seemed like the beams were following them as they walked.

“Well that's rather strange.” Aziraphale stated, looking up at the clear sky.

“You mean you're not doing that?” Crowley questioned, squinting as he gazed up in to the sky as well.

“No, you said it wasn't going to rain, I saw no need for there to be sun.” Aziraphale

“...That is rather strange.” Crowley agreed, and the pair stopped, taking a moment to look around.

“Aziraphale!”

“Oh good Heavens!” The Angel flinched as a familiar voice boomed from above. “Uh- Yes? Hello? It's been awhile hasn't it- uh, I trust you're doing well?”

“Ah, that'd explain it.” Crowley mumbled, stepping back a little bit. “I'll just, I'll wait over there.” He motioned behind himself to the other side of the road, starting to slowly make his way there.

“You too, Crowley.” Another voice boomed, this one the Demon knew all too well, as the gap in the sky widened to hover over him as well.

“Ah, Shi- Yes, Hi.” Crowley turned around on his heel, looking up in to the nothingness of the sky. “Pardon me, but uh, didn't we have an agreement with you lot to leave us alone?”

“Come.” The voices boomed together and suddenly the pair were swept up in a sudden flash of supernatural powers.

What was only mere seconds could easily have been eternity as the duo landed on the strange ground. The sky was always clear in this location, and the ground felt familiar, grey, and fluffy.

“Oh. Uhm.” Crowley was the first to speak, looking around and realizing where he was, a natural flap of his wings as he saw the figures in the distance approach them. “S-Should I be-” He gestured to himself, then looked at Aziraphale to his side, questionably.

“Relax, it's just a cloud top.” Aziraphale confirmed, being more familiar with the landscape than his demonic companion. “It'd have to be something really important, or bad, to actually bring you all the way up there.” He chuckled slightly.

“Ah, good, right then.” Crowley mumbled, shifting in place, glancing over Aziraphale and his wings quickly before looking back at the ones who summoned them here.

“Gabriel?” Aziraphale questioned the first figure whom stood across from himself.

“Beelzebub!?” Crowley accused the second figure whom stand adjacent to the first. “Now, Just hold on a second, there best be a good reason you're interrupting our day like this.”

“Mayhaps they are expecting another Armageddon and need the best men for the job?” Aziraphale suggested, grinning a bit when Crowley did in fact chuckle at this joke.

“Oh haha, I'm sure you two would enjoy that, wouldn't you?” Gabriel questioned as he stood firmly, hands pitched against one another as he spoke.

“We have been discussing many things since we last spoke.” Beelzebub picked up. “Thanks to the stunt you two pulled, there's been much communication between both sides as of late.”

“I take it that means a peace treaty is in the works and you wanted witnesses?” Crowley suggested. “Aight well lets make it quick-”

“No.” Beelzebub cut him off sternly, making sure to shove him back in place with a force when he tried to start walking past her.

“Actually, the war between Heaven and Hell has become more than heated since you two ruined the Divine Plan.” Gabriel sneered, collapsing one hand as it caught his fist.

“Oh, but what about the ineffable pla-”

“Shut your face!” Gabriel cut off Aziraphale.

“The Divine Plan has been... Reworked.” Beelzebub stated, glancing over the pair before continuing. “We are waiting for the big one, before we strike now, and as such work has resumed as normal for both parties, if not perhaps increased since you two got in put in to the mix.”

“Right, so that's wonderful, I'm glad. Would be a shame to see 20 million supernatural beings out of a job, eh?” Crowley rolled his eyes as he took a look at his watch. “So what's that got to do with us?”

“Oh well you see, we've been doing some talking with the... Higher, up.” Gabriel explained, taking a step closer as did Beelzebub.

“We've been working closely to better understand the so called ineffable plan, that you two seem to regard so highly.” Beelzebub added, steeping now and having Gabriel follow.

Crowley and Aziraphale wanted to back up, they very much disliked the thought of getting too close to those who ranked this high in their own respective divisions. The funny thing was though, that they couldn't. It was only as if they were frozen in place, by a force much stronger than that of their own.

“Now, I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation that you're going to expose to us any minute!” Aziraphale stated nervously as he glanced quickly over to Crowley.

“Like, oh, I dunno, relinquishing your positions to ones better suited for the carrying out of the ineffable plan?” Crowley asked, trying to keep calm and play things off as he normally did. “I think I know of a few worthy candidates, like dear Aziraphale here, and perhaps, my self-”

“Shut up.” This was said in unison as there was little to no personal space between both sets of Heaven and Hell now.

The Angel and Demon did so, but not because they wanted to.

“Did you really think we wouldn't of caught on to your little 'magic trick'?” Gabriel questioned them.

“Clever, but unfortunately not clever enough.” Beelzebub commented. “The only way a Demon could survive Holy Water and an Angel to defy Hellfire, would be if they swapped places...”

“Or, if they were- Well, why don't we let you figure this one out yourself?” Gabriel finished.

Suddenly, at the same time, both higher beings gave a quick flick of their wrists. Gabriel's summoned a small whirlpool of liquid, twisting and turning in his grasp, and the same could be said for Beelzebub, though this was the hot searing of an open flame.

“Holy Water?!” “Hellfire!?” Crowley and Aziraphale stammered out as they desperately tried to back away.

“C-can we perhaps, talk about this?” Aziraphale asked, tilting his head slightly as he stared back at the Archangel.

“Oh c'mon, you're not still mad about this, are you?” Crowley complained at the Prince.

“Misbehaviour must be punished. Justice needs to be served.” Gabriel expressed as he stepped aside to swap placements with Beelzebub.

“Don't act so surprised, this is all within the ineffable plan.” Beelzebub grinned wickedly, already reaching towards Aziraphale with the Hellfire.

“Wait-” Crowley instantly reached to try and protect Aziraphale, only to be pushed back again by Gabriel's threats.

“Hope you enjoyed it while it lasted.” Gabriel laughed.

What happened next, wasn't exactly what one would expect to be done. Simply put, they could have spilled the tiniest drop on any part of Aziraphale or Crowley's body and instantly the pair would have been wiped from existence. This would be the most quickest and effective way to dispose of the trouble makers, and would save a lot less paper work for both head offices in the long run. However, as the Archangel and Prince of Darkness mentioned, this was not how the ineffable plan was supposed to go. Instead, something different took place that neither Demon nor Angel could have predicted. Perhaps the Nice and Accurate Prophecies of a certain with could have prevented this from happening, but not even the future could change what is to be decidedly fate.

The pair both braced themselves expecting the worse, and their minds it was. A searing pain, that burned them through to their core, feeling like they'd live with the scars it left forever, even though they wouldn't be alive at all. The higher beings reached a hand out each, and purposely avoided the bodies, instead reaching behind them. In a swift motion they attacked the duo's wings. In a flash they had gone up, as quickly as the pair were summoned, burning long and hard, causing the Angel and Demon to cripple over in pain. Screams so loud and desperate that they weren't ever sure if they'd even feel pain again after this moment.

And then it happened. The ground from under them dissipated, exposing them back to the Earth below them. A split moment of time felt like it was frozen for eons as the pair processed what exactly was happening. Instead of pain, it was now quickly replaced with fear. The minute time resumed again was when they were already plummeting to their doom. Watching them from the clouds above, Gabriel and Beelzebub smirked proudly, before turning and taking their leave.

The wind rushed past them feeling like knives cutting through their skin. Lord knows how high they were or how long it would be before they finally connected with the ground again. Would they even end up in London? Did they even have time to question things like this. They were falling, uncontrollably at that. Crowley reacted as he glanced at the ground approaching closer and closer, he'd figured they'd only have about fifteen seconds or so. Aziraphale was hoping they'd have much longer than that, or perhaps thinking if they could keep falling forever, surely it wouldn't be that bad? It would, in fact, be leagues better than finally contacting the ground. He'd already been discorporated once, he'd hate to have to go through all of that again.

“Angel!” Crowley's voice was barely audible above his own screams and the passing wind, but it was enough to catch Aziraphale's attention.

Crowley was scrambling in the air to re adjust himself, trying to close the gap between himself and Aziraphale. He was desperately reaching a hand out for him. It didn't take long for Aziraphale to catch on, returning the gesture, stretching as far as he could to just barely make contact with Crowley's hand.

Now, anyone could tell you that normally anyone travelling towards to surface of the Earth at this speed would have a rough landing. Sure no one had conducted experiments on the exact height a Demon and Angel are dropped from a cloud, but there were enough failed sky-diving attempts to give a pretty accurate estimation. Directly below the pair is a large lake, the same lake they visited multiple times in central park to feed the ducks and discuss a matter of things throughout the years. Yet, throughout all those times, none of them knew how deep the lake really was. Not that it mattered, because any normal human hitting water as such a high velocity would surely expire upon impact. There's a little thing called surface tension that would lead to prove all of the Sunday morning cartoons false. However, it would simply take a miracle to survive the impact.

The pair crashed down, scattering a large wave that upset quite a large amount of ducks nesting nearby, and perhaps drew the attention of a few onlookers who didn't exactly know what they saw, but knew the end result – Two men, splashing about in the local lake, something that very much was probably illegal, and would be attracting the local authorities soon enough.

Crowley surfaced first, looking around as he struggled to stay afloat. His anxiety calmed a bit as Aziraphale breeches not too far from him. To be quite honest, he wasn't exactly sure if the Angel could swim, and right now was probably the worst way to have found out about it.

“We're alive!?” Aziraphale exclaimed, splashing around frantically as he tried to get his bearings, glancing back over at Crowley.

“Yeah, unfortunately.” Crowley huffed, starting already to make his way to the shore.

“But, if we're not dead then-” Aziraphale followed suit behind Crowley, and shorty the pair were able to drag themselves out of the considerably cool waters, perching on walk path as they shook off the extra water.

“What happened back there!? What was all of that about!?” Crowley questioned, cough a bit as he spat the fowl water from his mouth and nose, taking a moment to catch his breath. “Why didn't you teleport away?”

“I couldn't!” Aziraphale responded, also winded and just as confused as the Demon. “I-Why didn't you just make us fly?”

“I wasn't able!” Crowley hissed back, standing up straight now and wiping hands through his hair. “It's a wonder we survived that fall!”

“Probably a joint effort.” Aziraphale noted, before he then froze up, realizing that he was able to just blink and remove the water from his clothing. “Oh good lord-”

“What? What is it!?” Crowley questioned, stepping closer to the Angel as he noticed his body language change to one of fear and worry.

“I-Oh my I've...” Aziraphale could barely get the words past his lips before he piratically broke out in a sob. “T-The fall! My Miracles, I can't... No they wouldn't... I... What have I done to deserve this? I've always done the greater good, even the- Oh my Heaven's divine! I've fallen! Crowley I've fallen!”

Crowley instantly stepped back from Aziraphale, looking completely astonished, perhaps a bit disgusted. “Oh you haven't, trust me you haven't!” He then raised his voice a bit, pointing at himself as he addressed Aziraphale. “I should know if you've fallen, I've bloody well experienced it first hand! That was not, falling! Christ, I wish my fall was that fucking pleasant!”

“W-well I just, you know I- Maybe they went easy on me?” Aziraphale stammered out.

“Pah-” Crowley shoved off from Aziraphale, turning away as he took off his jacket, starting to manually strain it off the water.

Aziraphale observed this for just a second before it clicked. “Wait, why can't you just-” He paused again. “You too? You can't do Miracles now either?”

“O-oh no I can I just, prefer to do things the hard way, y'know? Keeps me grounded.” Crowley wasn't at all confident in his claims. “I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for all of this.”

Aziraphale frowned as he gazed down at his hands, taking a moment, before looking up and examining demon closely. “Crowley.”

All it took was his name addressed to get the Demon to look directly at the Angel, questionably.

And one glance was all it took to make Aziraphale's heart nearly jump out of his chest. “My God-” Aziraphale gasped bringing a hand up to his mouth and staring back at Crowley in shock.

“What now?” Crowley rolled his eyes as he groaned in annoyance, the surprised reactions really starting to irritate him. “Have I got something on my face? Bit of bloody lake grass?”

“Your eyes.”

“What about 'em?”

“...They're...” Aziraphale took a good long moment, staring back as if he wasn't actually believing what he was seeing. He wasn't really, not fully anyway. There was no possible way this could be happening. “They're... Normal.”

“Normal?” Crowley shook his head, not completely sure what the Angel meant by that. “What do you mean, normal? That's good isn't it?”

Aziraphale just shook his head, scrambling to check his pockets, suddenly pulling out an old dated pocket watch, it was polished almost to perfection though, reflecting whatever came in to view. He handed to Crowley.

Crowley snatched it instantly and quickly held it up to his face, staring back in to the little section of his own reflection, and then suddenly he saw, or rather it was what he didn't see. Looking back at him was normal, human eyes. They were coloured brown if he were to describe them in detail. It wasn't what he was expecting to see, that was for sure. A far cry from the serpent slit's he'd had his whole existance.

“What does this mean?” Aziraphale asked, stepping closer to Crowley. “A-Are you...Human? Did they-?”

“Worse.” Crowley acknowledged, tossing the watch back to Aziraphale, already starting on a game plan it seemed as he started to stroll out of the park, Aziraphale quickly following up behind him.

“Worse? What do you mean worse?” Aziraphale continued to question him. “What could be worse than what's already happened? They've taken our magic, and changed your eyes. What could be worse than what's already going on?”

Crowley suddenly stopped again, looking back over his shoulder at Aziraphale. “Do you want the short explanation or the long one?”

Aziraphale went to speak his reply, before catching himself, pausing then changing his mind. “Short.” He stated. “Lay it on me, then.”

Crowley sighed, shifting in his spot as he rubbed his tongue on the inside of his mouth before replying. “ _We're mortals._ ”


End file.
